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Genesis

Wednesday March 29, 2023 12:29AM

Today felt like the beginning again...

in the beginning, there was derp... ~anonymous

i spent all day on my computer today. i feel it in my eyes. it's almost like there is a cloud back there, obscuring the thoughts in my brain and preventing me from focusing on anything for too long. i try to follow the regiment i took deadly serious as a child. look at media for 20 minutes, then stare at an object 20 feet away for 20 seconds, but i don't contain the same stuff of diligence as i used to. i don't contain many of these things anymore, and when i wake up tomorrow there will be even less.

i wrote this all because i was curious how far i would go.

i use this gif wayyyy too much. its so stupid and i love it.

i saw this image again today. i like to imagine i'm floating on an endless road just like this. it is such a plain and simple video i can imagine so many scenarios. i think of some experiences from a couple years back. i travel home for infinity in the darkness listening to happiness by riceboy sleeps. maybe there is someone in the passenger seat. at least, there's a ghost in the seat next to me. i want to reach over and grab their hand. i want to close my eyes and trust that they are watching the road for me.

i told my friends about falling asleep on the road in high school. they were really worried. i didn't really understand why. i played the most ambient music back then so when that drive came to me at 2 A.M. there was no greater feeling than being in an aluminum can at 40 miles an hour drifting in-and-out of consciousness while jonsi sings angelic falsetto in my ear. i worry about my recklessness back then, but only because of how unstable i feel now. back then i was invincible. back then i was infinite. now, my back hurts. now my head hurts.

i've thoroughly enjoyed writing this. i wish i could keep writing. i have a test tomorrow and i need to wake up in the morning to study because i have no work ethic (⌒▽⌒)☆

thanks dear reader, may we meet in our dreams ~jason

Wednesday March 29, 2023 12:29AM